the passenger seat

the end
November 6, 2009, 6:40 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , ,

The end is such a scary place to start
Everything is torn apart
I don’t know where to go from here
In the end, there’s no reason to pretend
I know you won’t be back again
I gotta find a way from here…

I don’t know where I’ll fall down
but I’m sure to hit the ground..

‘Cause it’s not over till it’s over
Every ending’s a new beginning
One more chance to get it right
One more chance to get it wrong
It’s not over till it’s over
Sometimes nowhere leads to somewhere
And it all starts again, yeah it all starts again
In the end

And it’s such a scary place to be
Everything is in between
I don’t know where to go from here
In the end I see it’s all up to me
To figure out where I should be
I’m going to find a way from here

And I don’t know where i’ll fall down
But I’m sure to hit the ground…

But it’s such a scary place to be
Everything is in between
I don’t know where to go from here

-“The End” by Jason Reeves

So it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything here, and boy does it feel good to be back. I’d forgotten how fun it was to blog. I hope all your personal HSC experiences weren’t so bad. For me, initially, I found myself thinking “Hey, this isn’t so bad,” and I felt alright going to the library every day to study and all that; it felt good and it was fun catching up with friends. I spent a lot of it chilling with my best friend from primary school, Jonny, so that was nice since we don’t really see each other much any more. But when the exams actually came round, I think the magnitude of it finally hit me and it became a big deal. Still, it wasn’t too bad, but towards the end I was so burnt out and I just wanted it all to end. I’m sure I’m not alone with that.

The HSC was a very weird time. The concept of a real “life” disappeared and our lives revolved around study. There wasn’t really time to think about anything else, although I spent a lot of the HSC thinking about life post-HSC. Actually, that leads me to the weirdest thing about the past few weeks: the HSC warps time.

For me, time was a huge factor. I found myself checking my watch a lot more than usual. “How long have I been studying for?” “When’s lunch?” “Crap, just wasted an hour checking feeds.” Every time I wanted time to go quicker (“I wish it was November 4 already…”), minutes passed like hours. Every time I wanted time to slow down (“Sh*t! Three 5-markers to go in 15 minutes?”), minutes passed like seconds. And yet, at the end of it all, it seems like it all flew by. The night before an exam I’d be thinking “I can’t wait till it’s all done with tomorrow afternoon…”, and by the end of it it didn’t feel that long after all.

And now I’m here, at the end of it all, and it literally feels like it was just yesterday that I was arriving at the library and sitting down at my single table in the back corner. Man, I’ll miss that spot.

When I was thinking about writing this post-HSC blog, the song “The End” by Jason Reeves popped into my head. We’re at the end of our schooling lives. For thirteen years we’ve been going to school. 9-ish to 3-ish every day, five days a week, 40-ish weeks a year for thirteen years. Thirteen years out of the eighteen I’ve been alive, and it’s the end of it all. Jason Reeves’ song sums it up pretty well. It’s kind of scary now that we’re about to go into the real world and have real adult lives. That’s definitely not the main feeling, but I’m sure it’s in the back of our minds. The more important line in the song is “Every ending’s a new beginning”. The end of our school lives is only the beginning of the rest of our lives (hooray for corny clichés!).

But seriously, I’m pretty damn excited about the future (not to menti0n the three months of holiday ahead).

Hmm, I feel like this blog is really disjointed. I’ve basically been throwing random thoughts onto the screen, whatever comes into my head, so I hope it all makes sense.

Number one on my post-HSC “things to do” list was photography. So on Wednesday, the first thing I did after the Physics exam was head up to Westfield Parramatta, where I picked up a new Nikon AF-S DX Nikkor 35mm f/1.8G (yep, James’ lens). Haven’t had the best weather to try it out yet, but I promise there will be photos soon. That night I went to my brother’s basketball game at Hills for the first time in a long time. I tried my hand at some sport photography and found out just how difficult it is to shoot fast-moving sports in far from ideal indoor lighting. I only got a few keepers, and I’ll throw those onto my Flickr when I’m done processing them.

Apart from that, so far I’ve been a vegetable at home, just resting and recovering from the HSC by watching lots of movies and Scrubs. Today I slept in for the first time in what feels like forever and awoke at 12:30pm, as opposed to the steady 8am-ish I’ve been doing since I began my library adventures and all through the actual HSC. It felt so good, and I can’t remember the last time I felt this awake.

I’ve made a few changes to my Flickr. I’ve tried to clean it out a little so that it looks more like a photographer’s Flickr and less of a photo-dump. So unfortunately, I’ve made all my photos of friends/family private. The only way to access them now is through a “Guest Pass”, ie. a special link that allows access into the set. So if you ever want to have a look at the photos, either come back to this post or ask me for the links. Also, I finally uploaded the photos from the last Monday (Final Assembly) and Tuesday (shirt signing) of school. Here are the links to all of them:

22-07-09: Janet’s Dinner
03-08-08: KO Netball
20-08-09: Inglourious Basterds
29-08-09: USYD Open Day
05-09-09: UNSW Open Day
05/06-09-09: Deva’s Place
18-09-09: At School
18-09-09: Re-edits
21-09-09: Junior Uniform Day
22-09-09: An Ordinary Tuesday
23-09-09: SCR
24-09-09: Mufti Day
25-09-09: Party Time!
28-09-09: Final Assembly
29-09-09: Signature Day
30-09-09: Birthday Dinner

Anyway, I think that is all for today. To all of you still with exams, I wish you the very best. To all of you without exams, go out and have lots of fun.

Take care everyone.

2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Congrats on the pick-up, Jero. Looking forward to seeing some of the shots from Hills. I was also planning on going to one of my cousin’s basketball games to shoot also, so we’ll see if that ever eventuates.

Be easy. I’ll see you around.

Comment by James

I think I kept my life during HSC, but lost my sanity 😛

Comment by BELLE

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